“Prayers”

If you’ve ever posted online about feeling ill or just having a really crummy day you are more than familiar with the replies of “prayers” and “praying”.  We get these on a regular basis through social media or even text messages when I give out updates about my spouse.

While we are an atheist family, these responses made me uncomfortable long before I decided that religion and belief in a God wasn’t for me.  It was only after Jason got really sick though that I’ve been able to pinpoint more and more why these type of responses irritate me so.

So first and probably most obvious, prayers just don’t work.  I don’t feel as though I need to expand on that as it is very straight forward.  If you would like read more though about prayers simply not working, I would recommend the Study of the Therapeutic Effects of Intercessory Prayer.

Second, how many times have those who have written “prayers” or “praying” to someone actually reached out to help?  In my experience, it isn’t often.  Simply replying with those words seems like a cop out to me.  It allows an individual to acknowledge the sickness or feelings of someone without having to do anything or ask any questions.  A simple search on Facebook of “feeling depressed” leads to open posts of those who just aren’t feeling good about their lives right now.  The comments of those they are connected with a filled with “prayers” and “praying”.  It isn’t filled with questions, love, offers of phone calls or help, or even a comment that with time it will be okay.  These commenters are using their religious belief to do a drive-by “praying” comment and then immediately forgetting about the person who may need help.

Other articles and blogs have pointed out the arrogance and manipulativeness of the frustrating phrase.   I’m not for sure I find the phrase arrogant or manipulative (there are exceptions to this one though), but I do find it frustrating.  The phrase generally signals the end of any actual support, it says to me  that the attitude of the poster is “Well, I did my part now I need to get back to my laundry.”